yeay! it's friday again. esok hubby balik. dan aku nak balik kg. walaupun esok tak dapat tengok Astro konsert AF, takpelah dah lama tak balik tido kg. maybe nak gi jalan keliling kg nak cari barang antik, kot ler kalo terjumpa. wanna go shopping at my favourite small clothes shop kat hujung kampung. tak sangka kawan aku yg jual kat situ and the merchandise is very good, in terms of price and Q. one can get embroided jean at RM28, East India Company style blouse below RM70. dan yang paling aku suka kat sini those baju tak nipis cam kain kelambu, ada lining, labuh lengan and mostly 100 cotton. beruntung le tokey kedai, sebab pagi ni aku korek2 kat drawer dapur cari barang, terjumpa duit RM 350! lain di cari lain dapat.... boleyler nak survive till gaji hujung bulan....

....Aku yang kan slalu mencintaimu...aku yang kan slalu mendampingimu...
bila bahagia yang akan kau tuju...
....bila buntu cahaya 'tuk menemanimu...
pilihlah aku...

by S07


hatiku kau bawa pergi,..lagi. tatkala kau melangkah, hatiku seakan rebah.
siang dan malamku, namun terbayang wajahmu. aku gundah.
sabar menanti dinihari, malam sepi. sunyinya tanpa hangat nafas mu dipipiku.
menemani malam, dan bangkit mentari memancar diwajahmu....

********************************

aku memang begini. melankolik pabila ditinggalkan dia. suami yang kupuja oustation, bukan jauh berjuta batu, KL saja. tapi, ya, aku memang begini. mudah terasa. lebih2 lagi kali ni sampai seminggu. rindu kan bertandang, sepi kan menjenguk. kim dan laila akan gloomy jugak, cari papa yang jauh di mata tentunya.

ya, aku memang begini.

i actually have done a lengthy, full with emotion but not too detail confession about him - my ex.
i read it over and over again. then i found that what i wrote is too sentimental to share it with others. but here goes, a bit of it....

i kept his wedding invitation. sweet smell, gold lining, beige colour. i even remembered his father in-law's name. put it on my small cupboard beside my office desk. everyday would stare or at least get a glimpse of it, inintentionally or willingly. the day i received it, i SMSed him, something like a friendly friend shud say to her friend - thanks, dah dapat surat saman awak. congrats!

he don't have any idea how long i've taken (to think over and over again just to draft the SMS) to drop him that friendly-ordinary-platonic SMS. and i even felt crazier when he ACTUALLY replied - thanks. but one can never forget the one he once loved.

that's it. now i found out why i can't forget him. tried harder, it came closer. greater. cling to you like i don't know what. those memory is history. nobody can change it. once in a while, i shall know now that those dreams of him would resurface again, in all kind of colours and plot, and i hope it won't be too disturbing and had my day ruined.

his wedding invitation card? discarded in the bin, lonnggg time ago.

ok, dah lama tak update.
reasons - angin malas datang melanda, menyibuk baca blog org lain, oustation, oustation, outstation, PC kong, cuti, sakit, buat-buat sakit (ewwww!), oustation lagi...bizi PM datang kampus... again bizi dengan minggu haluan siswa, menteri datang, pastu TPM lak mai...

last- last dari minggu lepas MC berkali-kali aku MC. flat bebeh...flat.. macam note B flat kat score music masa aku band girl dulu... smalam gi KL balik hari meeting kat PWTC. Along the way dalam perut burung besi aku dah loya cam nak rak. mintak gula2 kat steward nama dia Dennis dia bolayan kat aku...buringss! amek bag mabuk udara just in case terbluwek kat situ or kat dlm KLIA Express kang sapo yang malu aku dan aku jugak yg tersipu-sipu... bos aku lak asyek ajak bebual...ahhh sabo je lah. turun teksi depan PWTC aku dgn light speed tak brape nak speed gi toilet....aiyahhhh tak mo kuar lak isi perut.... meeting went fine. then dari senai airport drebar lak tinggalkan aku sebab dia ingat aku dah balik... dah pesan 10 kali flight delay pon tak paham ka? hubby fetch me and dia risau sebab dah berminggu aku cam tak berdaya jek. tapi dia tinggal gak aku pergi main golf...camana tuh?

malam dah ok sket terpaksa memenuhi jemputan seorang rakan event manager kat Angsana dia ada buat launching....dah 3 kali buat event aku tak penah datang... so gagahkan ajelah gi shopping kompleks terpopular di Tampoi. kol 10, macam nak pitam.... memang sakit aku nih....

dan pagi ini, aku bangun dengan perasaan terganggu - mimpi ex boyfriend aku lagi...
to be continued on this part... i guess i have to invite him here too...