tak dapat ku tahan airmata yang mengalir... sayu dan sendu melihat paparan berita dan foto mangsa2 tsunami.

alfatihah.

aku sendiri memang merancang hendak ke pulau pinang. tapi kerana beban tugas aku dan suami amat sibuk dan akhirnya terpaksa tunda holiday tu. in fact dah ready nak purchase air asia ticket online the week before.

Allah sahaja yang Maha Berkuasa dan Maha Mengetahui.

shit!it truly is. somethin' wrong somewhere with my mind. i write cheques for every installment that i have to pay every month, and i messed it - cancelled 5 of them! never happened like this before and felt so irritated wif my self - i mispelled the currency, mispelled the payee names, the figures..aiyah so blah lah!

i'm under stress since....since when ah?

i knew it. since SHE was promoted and be MY boss. Shit! its truly was. and the whole university knows it all! i tried to be nice to her, and teach myself to be honest and sincere with any compliments that i gave, try to joke around, but still deep down there , the hatred won't budge even bit!
there again i wrote with acclamation marks here and there. fuck it!

its hard to find one's good point, coz you are overshadowed by her dark half. i can even tell whether she's faking a sickness, or tremendously exaggerating 'bout the task done, or makes up some stories. hell with that. and all the times, SHE would makes the piles higher on me, and other officer too. oh, one more, if u want to know, she's good at telling lies too. no no no not that kind of white lie, but a pure lie, so the big boss favor her much much more, and the big boss would too, disfavor any human that my boss hates.

we'll see how far u can go, bitch. we shall see.

since last week aku outstation ke lembah kelang. and the balik umah 2 hari pastu pergi KL lagik. stay at concorde. seblom gi KL for second time sempatler panggil makcik urut badan aku yang rasanya mcm loose giler, sakit pinggang bukan kepalang... rasa cam tua sangat plak weh! lepas "servis" baru ler rasa lega sket, mana taknyer last aku gi massage ni masa lepas abis pantang deliver baby tahun lepas. aiyoh very the lama one.
dah lama tak jenjalan kat KL nih. selalu naik KL pon bukannya aku tahu nak gi mana, actually takde kawan yang betulnyer. ada member masa skool dulu pun dah berkeluarga, malas nak bother kan diorang tuh, so this time aku saje jek gi Ampang Park, beli ler sepasang baju utk pakai gi pejabat. ada satu kedai tu aku pusing sampai 2 kali, sebab i'm ready to buy any pairs yang aku jangkakan kalau aku suka, rasa cantik, kena dgn badan aku yg cam papan sekeping nih,.. tenyeh card kredit ler. tapi tak ketemu. ada lak satu kedai tu dialog ni gross betul pada pendengaran aku nih :

Aku baru je melangkah masuk pat pintu while the saleswoman (dah berumur jugak takkan nak panggil salesgirl kan)tgh melayan 4 orang wanita. one of them tgh pregnant. yg lain tu tak perasan sgt. seorang tgh cuba-cuba sehelai baju the other gives their comment on colour, cutting bla bla. dah tu diorang keluar.

saleswoman 1 : menyampah betul. nak tengok saiz besar, dah ambikkan saiz besar, suruh bukak (keluarkan dari plastik / hanger/lipatan), lepas tu tak berkenan pulak. SEKOR tak beli, semua tak nak beli.

saleswoman 2 : biasalah tu.

wat the hell la si pompuan tu. dah terang2 aku kat dalam kedai, dia mengomel punyalah kuat, aku siap jeling2 dia lagik, at least kalau nak kutuk pon tungguler sampai aku kuar ke apa ke. so, aku apalagi rasa menyampah banget, blah jek dari situ malas nak beli, macamler kedai kau tu kellas giler! macamana ler nak maju. kalau kekawan lelaki aku dengar mesti diorang kata pompuan tu tengah datang bulan or "tak dapat agaknyer malam tadi"... hick!